Obscene are these thoughts?

A few new writings from "DON'T CRY FOR ME, ALWAYS KRISTINA"

BY KRISTINA M. CORDOVA

CAROUSEL OF THOUGHTS

Spinning about, which to come first. This sadness constant, a given, never deprived. Thriving - my life. Anger, there's muc, in idle too much - a fiasco. Would be a hassle. Profound thoughts in living, life, work or play. Simple breath of this air, such corruption. Confusion no matter the day, a second , any moment; contradictions to this day. Mostly covered up; a front, hidden put away. Captivating smile, true feelings estranged. Ventured and gained. Constant part of life. Continue go about; all's "peachy keen", others believe, tend to see. Rainbows, sunshine life, her being, me - Kristina Marie. Not really, at times rather obscene; too intense. Frustration evokes. Sadness, clear vivid to my eyes.

How hopeless, thoughts this mind. Disgusted with life, truly part of my life. Dark and blee, no longer hidden; these feelings of mine. All in astray, spoken aloud, phrases put together. No cares whatsoever. No matter the moment, situation, irrelevant the person. Fuck it hear my rage. Humorous sarcasms, brutally harsh so be the truth. No intent to harm nor shock. This my true way. Overwhelmed, my true being, my spirit; few understand. Continue, go about. Alone once again - Oblivious to others.

THIS GIRL, WHY SHE LONGS TO LET GO

Grand smile; cheek to cheek. Chompers of porcelain white glee, redness crowns her cheeks. Smile always heard, in conversation, simple sentence, one word - "hello". Vivid image, wonderful smile. No one could imagine, would even consider or wonder how sadness joins her side. Look in her eyes, can be blinding; deceiving at times. Emotions filled, feelings so intense, overwhelms, smothering her soul. Teary eyed, slight mist, blending her aura; cocktail twist. Others have felt, I never believed, another human being able to see, feel how intense, an understanding, felt the sorrow. Saw the sadness and how it carodes; taking over, slow mutilation of this being. Low self-esteem, filled melancholy, her soul, devastating thoughts, consuming, maipulating her mind.

Blank, empty her stare. Confusion, the frustration; quivering lip, locked up , unable to let go, held deep within. A struggle, won't allow tears to soak, sink in. Wanting to surrender, validate, let go. Studder in her breaths, gasping for a breath of air, out of sync. Anxiety setting in, such pain. Torment in her face; pale white flushed with blood red, all throughout her body. Pores full of sorrow. Clouds of sadness evolve, a madness following her endlessly. Cutting into others, delicate the slice, imagine simultaneous, extreme pain. A papercut 24 times 4. Indian burn , rug burn felt deep within. Much effort, such endeavor, unconcious perhaps, continuing her existence.

All's not well and can be seen, felt, the stare of her eyes. Times to be hidden, why trouble another, bother them with me, such a burden - bad taste in their mouth. Exist these ways, corruption has taken over. Others will see, not so much, just a hint, very few equal many, willsee this girl and why she wants to let go.

JUST ADDED-WRITINGS

NEWLY ADDED